Kermit the Frog

My pal Kermie used to say, "it's not easy being green." I'd have to disagree, little toad. I've found a lot of ways to be green and save money. And for those of you who think I'm just jumping on the bandwagon, I'll have you know that I've been recycling since I was a tadpole! Here are tips of things I'm currently doing:

• Using regular dinnerware at work - no styrofoam cups or plastic utensils or paper napkins or plates for me when I bring my lunch or drink my coffee.
• Using 1 C. vinegar and 3 C. water for our daily shower cleaner and glass cleaner rather than buying spray bottle shower cleaner at the store all the time and using harsh chemicals.
• Using SwissGold coffee filters rather than paper filters in my coffee makers.
• Using 1/2 t. olive oil and 1/4 C. vinegar for our furniture polish which I store in a glass jar. This is much better than using an aerosol dusting polish.
• Taking reusable cloth bags to the store instead of using plastic bags (although sometimes I admit I forget and leave them in the back seat of my car - I am getting better though)!
• Trying to not buy or drink bottled water. Instead we have a water purifying pitcher in the fridge that we can use to fill reusable water bottles.

Here are some of the things I'll be doing over the next few months as we run out of these items:

• Making homemade hand sanitizer: 1/4 C. witch hazel; 1/4 C. aloe vera gel, 1 t. vegetable glycerin, 1 T. apple cider vinegar and 10 drops tea tree oil. Some of these ingredients are found at King Soopers and all can be found at Vitamin Cottage or Whole Foods.
• Making homemade shampoo and conditioner (this is going to save a bundle from using my Joico products)! Shampoo: 1/4 C. water, 1/4 C. liquid castile soap (it comes in 6 different scents like peppermint, eucalyptus, lavender, unscented, almond, etc.), and 1/2 t. light vegetable oil (like jojoba, coconut, avocado or almond). Conditioner: 4 C. water, 1 C. apple cider vinegar.
• Using 1/8 C. Borax (sold at King Soopers) and 1/8 C. baking soda for laundry detergent.
• Using Borax as our toilet scouring cleaner.
• Putting 50% organic fabric softener and 50% water into a spray bottle. This will then be sprayed onto a clean washcloth and tossed into the dryer for our dryer sheet.
• Using 1/2 C. baking soda, 1 T. vegetable glycerin and a bit of organic liquid detergent to make a soft scrub for sinks, bathtub, etc.

Way Future Ideas:

• When I start going gray (my hairdresser found one on my head 2 months ago which I asked her to promptly remove!), I'm hoping I'll be OK with it and keep it natural. If not, I've read that making super strong black coffee (no comments Britt!) or boiling black almond shells then pouring that on as a rinse to my brunette hair will help.

Additional Ideas:

For what to avoid, print out a wallet-size shoppers' card of The Green Guide's Dirty Dozen list of chemicals.
*www.thegreenguide.com

Brett Favre

2 words - grow up.

Being 40 rocks!!!

Being 40 is cool. I love knowing myself and being fine with who I am. I don't mean that I don't need to grow and change but I mean I'm more content within my skin than ever before. Here's some of the things I like and dislike and I'm completely fine with it!

Likes

• the color red
• using my creativity
• horses
• simplicity
• quiet appliances
• playing games
• well-manicured hands
• long hair on guys
• Jeeps and Harleys
• scent of pine trees

Dislikes

• plastic packaging that you can't open without cutting the package or yourself
• slow drivers
• close-minded people
• taking out the trash
• skiing
• peas, green beans, beets, brussel sprouts, cooked carrots and tuna
• Dillard's department store
• most dogs and cats
• being criticized
• seeing someone's butt crack

It's great to be 40 and know yourself so well. :-)

My Trip to Panama

I've finally had time to process my thoughts, etc. about my missions trip to Panama. It was a GREAT experience! I would sum up the entire trip as follows: amazing culture, long days, hard work, great people, and the ability to see God in action. Here's a recap:

Saturday, June 7 - uneventful flights from DIA to Dallas then to Panama City. I tried to see if I would have any cell phone service in Panama City and I didn't. That's when I realized I was lonely without Gary and wouldn't be able to talk with him all week. God reminded me of who He is and that even when I feel lonely HE is always by my side and wants me to worship because of WHO HE IS and not what I want to get from Him. Went to bed around 11:30 p.m.


Sunday, June 8 - met for breakfast in hotel at 6:00 a.m. Went to small regional airport in Panama City to fly to David, Chiriqui, Panama. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David,_Panama The plane that flew us from Panama City to David held 36 passengers and looked like something straight out of an Indiana Jones movie. We were met at the airport by a couple of people from Jaun Rodriguez's church in David. We went to Juan's church for worship then after lunch got on a bus for a 2 hour ride over the mountains into Chiriqui Grande, Panama. Once in Chiriqui Grande, we waited for 3 boats to be loaded - 1 with all the luggage, 1 with all the food and supplies, and 1 with all of us. We took a 1 hour ride across the Chiriqui Laguna off of the Caribbean Ocean http://www.bocasdeltoro.com/maps/index.htm to the village of Palma Bella where we would be spending the week helping to finish 5 houses with the local Ngobe Indians http://www.ecotourismpanama.com/indigenous-indians/ngobe.htm. When we arrived at the village a number of local Indians met us on the shore.



We walked around then set up our camp in one of the huts. There was approximately 100-200 yards of land that is cleared between the shore and the dense jungle. Most people live in the dense area in thatched roof huts. We went to sleep around 10:00 p.m. in our mosquito-net covered hammocks listening to the waves crashing on the shore approximately 50 yards from our hut.










Monday, June 9 - Got up at 6:30 a.m., ate breakfast at 7:00 a.m. - coffee, bread, scrambled eggs, & pineapple; and began working at 7:30 a.m. I was on hammering duty - HA! - the mahogony wood seemed harder than steel! I was really frustrated by all the nails bending and thought life sucked. Then God reminded me that HE invited me here and my attitude changed immediately. I guess I had forgotten Juan's sermon from the day before. He was preaching out of Philippians 2 where it says to "do everything without complaining." Oops.




I got filthy and it was worth it! We stopped working around 4:30/4:45 then went to the ocean for a "sea bath."

Tuesday, June 10 - Thursday, June 12 - Each day: up at 6:30, eat at 7:00, work by 7:30 a.m., break at 10:00 for water and Gatorade, lunch at noon, back to work by 12:30, break at 2:00 for water and Gatorade, quit at 4:45, sea bath by 5:30, eat dinner at 6:00, group reflection time at 7:00. Bed by 9:00 (for me at least!). Each day we had an opportunity to work side by side with local Indians and mainland Panamanians. It was amazing!



The children visited our hut each morning on their way to school then came to the worksite in the afternoon after their classes were over. The kids who do not yet go to school were with us each day.









A doctor and nurse came over from David and visited local villages to provide medical care.

The Mama Tata head guy came by each day and visited with us. Here's some 411 on their religion - it's not even close to Christianity. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mama_Tata
Every night that Juan is on the island, he preaches in the villages. The Thursday night we were there, he showed the "Acts of the Apostles" DVD. Canoes came in from other villages to learn about Christ. http://www.wrcc.org/share/missions/davidswell.php

I actually caught a chest cold virus on Monday, had a heat rash & fever Tuesday and Wednesday but felt better about the heat on Thursday. The food was great, although I am tired of chicken!
Friday, June 13 - We left Palma Bella around 10:00 a.m. which was very emotional. I will miss Carmella and her children, and her father, Juan. We purchased homemade bracelets and handbags before we left the village. We got to the hotel in David around 2:00 p.m. and I was exhausted from my chest virus. However, rather than taking a nap, my roommate Christa and I took showers then Christa and I went shopping. We went to dinner with Juan and his wife then went back to the hotel. We are true girls.

Saturday, June 14 - I slept like a rock last night! We left the hotel around 6:30 a.m. to get to the airport so we could fly back to Panama City. http://www.centralamerica.com/panama/pancity.htm We toured the Panama Canal, Colonial Panama City (from the 1600's) then went to a marketplace and a dinner with traditional Panamanian dancing. Everything is very inexpensive in Panama. All of my souvenirs added up to just $52.00.

Sunday, June 15 - We got up at 6:00 a.m. to have breakfast and get to the airport to go home. I think Panama is a beautiful country but not too different from other tropical areas of the world. I looked at my "battle wounds" on the plane - large bruises, bug bites and facial rash. It was all worth it!!! I feel like I can build anything now. When I saw Gary at the airport Sunday night, I rushed to his arms and cried like a baby - I can't believe how much I missed him!

It's been 2 weeks since I've been back and I still get choked up when I look at my pictures. It was such an amazing blessing and privilege to go to Panama!!!

I'll upload my video once it's edited! You can view my photos at Shutterfly: http://www.shutterfly.com/lightbox/view.sfly?fid=e8d7091af94de6cb6276141d224b0f78

Dreams of Panama

Most of you know I'm leaving for Panama in 9 days - yes just 9 short days!!! I'm excited and expectant. I want to connect with the locals while I'm there and experience THEM rather than focusing on what we're doing FOR them. May I learn that they have a lot of things better than my little American way of life. Let me learn from THEIR culture. Let me not think of American solutions to what I may perceive as Panamanian problems.

OK - I just had to get that out. That's the reason I'm going to Panama for those of you wondering if I'm nervous or afraid of the hard labor in building houses. Nope, not at all. That's not what it's about in my mind.

Love you all - TJ

A Friendship Version of 1 Corinthians

Our pastor’s wife read “A Mom’s Version of 1 Corinthians 13” on Mother’s Day. I got to thinking of what 1 Corinthians 13 would be if it were a “friendship” version. Please note that I am NOT adding to the Bible, merely explaining in my words what I think 1 Corinthians 13 looks like in our friendships.


If I give unsolicited advice and have not love, my words will fall on deaf ears. If I have the gift of helping others but end up stepping in too often or forcefully, I end up merely enabling or creating codependency. If I am too busy to spend time listening and hearing what my friends have to say, I am not a loving friend at all.

A loving friend patiently waits for her friend to tell the waiter how to precisely fix her steak and salad while all the patrons around them stare. A loving friend speaks words of kindness when she wants to ring her friend’s neck for making unhealthy decisions. A loving friend is not envious of the brand new Mercedes parked in her friend’s garage. A loving friend does not brag about the new Audi parked in her own garage. A loving friend speaks in a loving tone of voice. A loving friend goes without complaining to a movie, play or restaurant that is not her favorite, but the favorite of her friend. A loving friend does not yell at her friend when she hurts her. A loving friend doesn’t hold a grudge when a fleeting high school memory of her friend getting together with the boy she originally had a crush on. A loving friend does not snicker when her friend suffers consequences of bad decisions. A loving friend rejoices with others. A loving friend hugs her friends so they know how much they are loved and treasured. A loving friend doesn’t gossip but shows trustworthiness. A loving friend always look with hope for her friends future. A loving friend hangs on through thick and thin to those healthy friendships. Loving, Christ-like friendships never fail.

Where do I belong?

I received a Martina McBride CD for Mother's Day and one of the songs "When You Love Me" has the following first verse:

Sometimes I feel like I never quite fit in
Like I'm always a little out of place
It's hard to be everything to everyone
There's so many roles I have to play
Sometimes I'm just barely hanging on
Seems like I'm always fighting to be strong
To find somewhere that I belong


Wow...did she read my mind?

I don't know specifically right now where God wants me serving - with kids? with women? with teens? some place I don't even know about yet? I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for God to tell me. In the meantime, I truly feel like I don't quite fit in and am out of place. A lot of people in my world circle think I have it together, am strong, happy, etc. Yes, I have a LOT of joy in my life but no I don't have it together and wish I could be myself and still feel like I fit in. Know what I mean?

Tribute to my mother-in-law

Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of the passing of Gary's mom. I met her on Thanksgiving Day, 1999. She was beginning to battle breast cancer for a second time. For the following 5 years, we never heard her complain about the pain she was in or the lengthy treatments she endured. She continued to do the things she loved as she was able - sew, quilt, spend time with her kids and grandkids and watch Gene Autry movies. It was so cool that she was able to spend Mother's Day with her 3 boys. We knew she was fading fast, but she relished every moment of that day. She spent time talking with each of her grandkids telling them how much she loved them. Each of the boys gave her a Mother's Day card in which they poured their hearts out to her. 1 week before she passed away she made a decision that allowed her to know with certainty that she would be spending eternity with Christ. Gary and I silently cried tears of joy knowing we'll be able to see her again. A week later we knelt by her bedside as she breathed her last in peace. I hope if I ever have to face a life-threatening illness that I can be as strong as she was and face each day with the mindset of continuing to do the things I love. I miss Harriet and am so glad she brought my best friend and husband into this world.

The Shack by William P Young

Like a lot of people, I just finished reading The Shack. Some things that stood out to me:

Page 24 - "Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets" - Paul Tournier (Swiss physician and counselor). I don't really hold secrets from others. I don't tell everyone all of my ugliness, but if it's appropriate and/or if someone asks me a question about my past or current "secrets" I tell them. For a long time I didn't do that and yes, it was lonely. If you hold on to secrets, why? Do you think that if someone knew the ugliness we all have in common that they would stop loving you? It takes a risk, but it's part of learning what true love is.

Page 89 - I loved this - listen up to what God tells one of his kids: "You're not supposed to do anything. You're free to do whatever you like...Don't go because you feel obligated. That won't get you any points around here. Go because it's what you want to do." I can relate to this as a wife. I once was upset with GR because I saw a diamond ring (I think it was around $750.00) that I thought would be a nice upgrade from the $80 gold band he bought me originally. I showed the ring to him and he was like "yeah, buy it if you want it." If you're a wife you may be able to relate to the fact that I wanted him to buy it for me because he thought I deserved it. Long story short, his daughter explained this to him, while I walked the mall seething. I came back and he was purchasing the ring for me. Do you know what I told GR? "Don't buy the ring because you feel like you have to. Buy it because you want to." I wear the ring everyday. How often do I do things because I think God wants me to, not necessarily that I want to? Honestly, there are weekends when the last thing I want to do is go to church, but I start to think that's what I'm supposed to do so I do it. Don't get me wrong, I'm generally glad that I go, but am I going because I want to?

Page 92 - God tells one of his children "If you let me, I'll be the Papa you never had." Even though my dad was certainly not perfect and hurt me at times, I still thought he was pretty much the best dad in the world. This is a picture of my dad and I when I was 15 and we were visiting my grandma. We let each other down quite a bit over the years. My getting to know God has definitely helped me to see the kind of man my dad was trying to be.

Page 170 - Just as the main character no longer wanted to have The Great Sadness as part of his identity any longer, there are parts of me that I no longer want to have as part of my identity. I'm getting to where I don't like the following as part of my identity: my Jehovah's Witness background, my battle with anorexia, abuse survivor. I only want to discuss them if they'll be helpful to someone but I want to move away from these 3 things so badly. Help me.

I highly recommend this thought provoking book. Perhaps I'll write more later. Toodles...

Florida

I spent 4 days in Florida earlier this month with 2 of my gal pals. It was more than I could have hoped for. Initially I was bummed that 3 of my friends were unable to make it. But I had a greater ability to relax by not worrying about 5 people having fun and getting along. After 2 interesting flights - Denver to Houston I had a guy who looked like a washed up hippy and was drunk sit in my row and announce that today was our lucky day because he was there. I'm thinking "Please, just ignore me." But of course he didn't. Anyway, then the flight from Houston to Ft. Myers, another drunk 30-something guy who weighed about 250 sits next to me. Nice. - So, I get to Ft Myers about 10:30 at night and see my girls, get our Chrysler 300 rented (what happened to a cute convertible for 3 cute 40-year-olds)??? We drive in the dark to get to the house we're staying at and are pretty impressed when we get there (well, except for the water pressure). Screened in pool in the back yard - yay! The next day we go to the beach - even after being lazy for hours on the beach, getting a henna tattoo and having some wine back at the house, I'm still not totally relaxed. Then Friday comes - we go to http://www.usalonanddayspa.com/ for some amazing treatments. I'm halfway through my facial when I realize I am TOTALLY RELAXED!!! When was the last time I felt this way? Why did it take me more than 36 hours to chill out? The gals and I grab a bite to eat and over our burger, salad and nachos I'm in tears telling my gal pals how much I dislike parts of my personality. They assure me (like anyone would) that I'm a sweet, caring person who always thinks of others. They tell me I need to take better care of ME. This kind of goes against my grain. On one hand, yes I totally agree that I have to take care of me so I can take care of others. On the other hand, isn't that a bit, well...selfish??? So for the next 2 days I decide to take care of me. Chris and I go to Sanibel Island on Saturday and I luxuriously lounge on the beach sipping on water, nibbling on snacks and soak up the sun. I have been so wary of getting any sun on my body for years that I am reveling in the heat. It's amazing. Why am I so strict with myself? Sunday is my day alone after the girls have flown home. I lounge in the pool for hours, drink a glass of wine, eat chocolate then get ready to go to the airport, fly home, and meet my man. I have learned more about enjoying life and letting myself be free. I didn't do the journaling and reading I promised myself I would do (except for reading People and O and Glamour) on the trip. I didn't exercise everyday like I promised myself I would, but yet it was more than I could have hoped for.